Turkle believes that our phones offer us three things:
- We can put our attention wherever we want it to be
- We will always be heard
- We will never have to be alone
We can pay attention to people when we want to, we can create relationships without the demands of face-to-face friendship. We can turn to technology to be seen, to be heard, to be liked by another virtual figure. With our technology, with our phones, we are never alone. We use what Turkle calls the Goldilocks Effect, where we are not too close to others, not too far, but just where we want to be. Although these three things make it seem like we are in control, we are never fully satisfied.
Today’s society is full of “I would rather text than talk.” We are so used to be cheated out of real conversation, so used to getting by with less, that we have become willing to dispense with people all together. We need to take a step back and appreciate this real life communication that we are setting aside. We need to learn how to be alone in order to reflect. Our relationships need to step outside of the virtual world, and focus more on self-aware relationships with our technology, with our peers, and with ourselves. Step away from always trying to communicate. Take time to think, take time to talk about the important things happening, take time to listen to each other, take time to express yourself.